


Pharmercy Domestic AU

by app_jelly



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Humor, domestic AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2018-12-13 09:57:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11757414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/app_jelly/pseuds/app_jelly
Summary: Just a collection of, you guessed it, pharmercy domestic au drabbles.





	1. Air Conditioning

**Author's Note:**

> I post these drabbles on my tumblr (which is app-jelly.tumblr.com btw). After around every five or so I'm gonna dump 'em here. Enjoy.

No one ever said that Hell could creep its way into a home, stretch out its legs, and make itself comfortable. At least not to Angela’s knowledge. She sat sprawled in one of the living room chairs fanning herself with a medical journal. Sweat dripped down her from her hairline and pooled in places she didn’t want to think about. Her flushed skin stuck to the chair if she was still long enough. Her wife, seated in a chair by the front door, looked none the worse for wear. Angela had to stop herself from staring too long, lest she catch blindness from looking at the beauty casually flipping through their mail.

“Fareeha…”

“Hmm?”

“I’m melting. When is the air conditioning guy going to be here?”

Fareeha looked up at the clock mounted on the wall across from her. “He should actually be here by now. Maybe he got caught up at his last appointment.” She chuckled to herself and continued, “Or maybe he’s not coming at all!”

Angela experienced a sudden flash of warmth come over her body. It felt like she was laid out on a grill and someone decided to jack up the heat for a moment. “That’s not funny! I almost died just thinking about it.” She wiped away the sweat accumulated on her forehead. “I fear I won’t make it past the afternoon.”

Fareeha smiled at her wife’s antics. _Always the dramatic one._ She set down the mail and made her way over to where Angela had been holed up most of the day. “So, when’s the funeral?”

“As soon as possible. I want you to freeze my body in a block of ice and bury me in a tundra. Maybe then I’ll finally be cool.” Angela clasped her sweaty hand with her wife’s and looked her straight in the eye. “Be sure to invite the air conditioning guy.”

“Are you sure there isn’t anything we could do to stave off your impending death.” Fareeha looked down at her wife. She was clad in only a pair of panties and socks. “How about you take off your socks?”

“Never.” Angela always wore her socks in the house. The flames of Hell weren’t going to stop her.

“What about taking a dip in the pool? I’m sure it’ll cool you off.”

“The neighbor’s using it for some streaming challenge. She drained out all the water and filled it with sand.”

“…excuse me?”

Angela waved her off. “Never mind that. Take off your shirt. It’s making me hot and not in a good way.”

The shirt found its way to the floor. “Anything else?”

“Yes, now that I think about it, you should probably take off the rest of your clothes. I’m afraid it’s for the best.”

“You know, one of us has to be somewhat decent for the air conditioning guy.”

“Fine, then. Guess I’ll just melt to death. And to think, you could have prevented it.” Angela found a new position in her chair facing away from her wife. She smiled into the cushion.

Fareeha kneeled down and enveloped her wife in a hug from behind. “Here lies Angela, beloved wife, doctor, and neighbor. She will be missed.”

“Stop! No hugs, no hugs! I’m sweaty all over.”

“Eh, it’s wife sweat. The best kind.”

Angela wrinkled her nose. “Sweat is sweat, which is disgusting in any form. Wife or not.”

“Guess we’ll just have to shower then.”

The doorbell rang.

“After we get our air conditioning fixed.”


	2. The Grill

The Amari household stood on a fine piece of land. The lawn, perfectly manicured. The fence, not a single plank eschew. There was even a lovely flower garden. Too bad Angela didn’t care to exist outside during the summer. She preferred to admire outside from inside her home, perched in a lovely chair by one of the back windows. The pool was the only thing that could lure her out during the season of melting. It helped that Fareeha would usually accompany her and wore a killer swimsuit. Angela loved the swimsuit.

This particular summer day could only be described as an anomaly. Angela found herself outside, but not in her pool. It was still filled with sand. Her wife had probably just got off work and would be on her way home. By all means, she shouldn’t have set foot outside at all. But, the neighbor, Hana, had stopped by earlier with a strange gift.

_“Here.” The teen from next door dropped an aluminum foil wrapped package into Angela’s arms. It was cold and had a bit of weight to it._

_“What… what is this?”_

_“Burger patties. I shaped and seasoned them myself. I don’t have a grill, but that’s where you come in.”_

_Angela looked down at the sudden gift of seasoned beef. “You want me to grill these?”_

_“You catch on pretty quick. I have an errand to run a couple of houses down. I’ll be back in like half an hour to pick up a few burgers. You can have the rest.” The teen made a few finger guns at the confused blond before she sprinted off down the driveway._

_“Hana, wait! I haven’t grilled a day in my life!”_

_The retreating figure gave a wave. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out!”_

That’s how Angela found herself outside standing in front of a grill, spatula in hand. She had been sure to apply a whole bottle of sunscreen and wore the biggest, floppiest hat she owned. Well, that Fareeha owned.

 _Okay, first step. Put burgers on grill._ Angela pried open the aluminum wrapped packaged. She placed each burger an even distance away from each other. _And then I wait for them to be done or something?_

Five minutes passed. The burgers remained unchanged. _Should I… should I flip them?_

“…gela! Angela, are you outside?”

 _My savior is home!_ “I’m by the grill! Please help!”

Sooner than she expected, Fareeha came flying out of the back door. “What’s wrong? Are you overheating?” She placed her palm against her wife’s skin then quickly took it back. “…please tell me that’s sunscreen.”

Angela clasped her hand against her smiling lips to hold back her laughter. “Of course it is. What else could it be?”

“I don’t know, it could be a new kind of condition. It could have been congealed sweat or something.”

Angela almost gagged. “Fareeha! That’s just gross.”

“It _is_ gross, but I’d still love you.” She turned her attention to the grill. “Why are you grilling burgers?”

“Hana came by earlier and told me to grill them. She’s going to be back any minute and I have no idea what I’m doing.” Angela pointed to the uncooked patties. “Look! They’re taking forever to cook.”

Fareeha reached for one of the knobs on the grill and turned on the propane. “I think they’d cook better if the grill was on.”

A blush creeped its way onto Angela’s face. “Oh.” She poked at a few of them with her spatula. “Can I flip them now?”

“I guess you could, but there’s really no reason to at the moment. Let me just…” Fareeha dragged a lounge chair from by the pool and set it next to the grill. “Here, you sit and try not to melt. I’ll handle the burgers.”

Angela surrendered the spatula and found a comfortable position in the chair.

“There’s really not much to grilling burgers. You just let them cook for a few minutes on each side and then they’re done.” Sure enough, a short time later, all the burgers were done cooking and piled neatly on a plate.

_My wife is amazing._

The moment was interrupted by the back door slamming open. Hana had returned with a box filled to the brim with condiments and buns. “Look at that, the burgers are done! I brought stuff to put on them.”

“Why didn’t you just bring that with the patties?”

“That’s what my errand was for. I only had hamburger meat. Lúcio owed me for blogging about his new album. He lives a couple of houses over so I raided his fridge and bread drawer.”

Angela already had her hands on a plain patty. She stuffed her cheeks with the seasoned goodness. _These are good._ “Shounds like a fair trade.”

Hana plucked five burgers off the plate and garnished them with the usual goods: cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mustard. She stuffed them into a plastic container. “Yup, fair is fair.”

Fareeha hadn’t bothered with putting together a burger. She had her eyes trained on the pool. “Speaking of fair, when are you going to remove the sand from my pool?”

Hana quickly took another burger and made a beeline for the fence. “It was nice seeing you two. Thanks for the burgers!” In an impressive display, she managed to jump the fence without dropping any of her burgers.

“She’s not going to get rid of the sand, is she?”

“Not likely. You should have a burger, though. They’re pretty good.”


	3. Gelata Fun

It was the beginning of another work day for Fareeha Amari. She owned a popular gelato shop in the middle of downtown called Gelata Fun; she was a pun enthusiast at heart. Many of the flavors she sold were inspired by her wife. Those were really popular, however, she wasn’t too sure about the current flavor she was working on.

_“Angela, I don’t know about this one. The Swiss chocolate one was genius but this is just… madness.”_

_“But everybody loves macaroni and cheese! In the dream I had last night, everybody in town flocked to your shop just to get a taste of the prized flavor. You made lots of money and we retired as billionaires. Then in the dream that immediately followed it, macaroni and cheese flavored gelato was the highest form of currency available. We bartered the dessert for all kinds of things. You got me an umbrella completely made out of diamonds. It didn’t block much water, but it was rather fashionable.”_

_“And because of these dreams, you think this flavor is a good idea.”_

_“Absolutely! I’ll make you a deal, if the flavor flops I’ll buy as many cones as it takes for the batch to be gone.”_

_“I could just throw it out…”_

_“But that’s wasteful!”_

Before heading into work that morning, Fareeha made sure to purchase the ingredients for the new flavor. She had her best worker, Lena, set up an extra saucepan.

“Ooh, are you making a new flavor today?”

“Yes, it’s macaroni and cheese. Angela had a dream that it’d be super popular.” Fareeha let out a sigh as she unloaded the ingredients onto a counter. “Because I love her, I’m willing to try it out.”

“…is that actual elbow pasta over there?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

Lena held back a gag. “Good luck with that.”

Luck just so happened to be on her side. Well, at least in regards to making the gelato. The finished batch sat waiting on the counter. A good fifteen minutes passed, but she couldn’t bring herself to taste it.

Lena, who had just finished setting up the flavors for the day, came back to check up on Fareeha’s newest masterpiece. “You know, if you leave it out long enough, it’s gonna melt.”

 _That would give me an excuse to throw it out._ “I can’t go through with it, Lena.”

“What, letting it melt? Looks like you’re right on track with that.”

“ _Tasting_ it Lena. I don’t think I can put that flavor anywhere near my mouth.”

Lena walked up to the counter and grabbed a spoon. “Fifty bucks.”

“…excuse me?”

“Fifty bucks, and I’ll try it.”

Fareeha quickly grabbed the cash from her wallet and deposited it into Lena’s waiting hands.

“If I don’t make it out of this, tell my girlfriend I love her.” Lena dipped the spoon into the gelato abomination. She took a surprisingly large scoop for someone expecting to fall victim to the worst flavor on the planet. In one swift motion, the spoon and the entirety of its contents shoved past her lips.

Fareeha waited a few moments before asking, “How is it?”

“It’s, it’s not that _bad_ , but…” Lena spit the gelato into a nearby trashcan. “I can’t get past the noodles. They have no business in gelato.” A shiver. “The texture’s all wrong.”

“So yay or nay?”

“Eh, it could be worse. Maybe sell it at a discount.”

“So, free?”

“Probably for the best.”

For the rest of the day, Mac ‘n Cheese Dream brought mixed results. Fareeha set up a whiteboard where customers could mark whether or not they liked the flavor. Some rebel wrote ‘BURN IT’ at the bottom.

_Some people actually liked it. Limited release flavor?_

Five minutes before closing, the bell attached to the entrance chimed.

Fareeha stopped stacking chairs to address them. “I’m sorry but I’ve already stopped selling gelato for the day…” She trailed off when she saw just who was approaching her.

For whatever reason, Angela came into the shop wearing a trench coat, sunglasses, a floppy hat, and a hideous fake mustache. She spoke to Fareeha in a deep fake voice. “Excuse me kind shop owner. I heard about a great new flavor and I just had to come and try it myself. Might I purchase a cone?”

“Angela, what are you doing?”

Angela looked positively aghast. “Angela, who is this _Angela_ person? The name’s Rolf. I am but a simple citizen looking for a tasty cone of gelato.”

Fareeha decided it was best to just go along with her wife’s antics. She retreated behind the front counter and put together a double scoop of Mac ‘n Cheese Dream for her dear customer. “Here you are, today’s special.”

“Rolf” took the offered cone with a triumphant smile on their face. “Aha! Macaroni and cheese gelato. It’s sure to be wonderful.” After the first taste, Angela quickly dropped the charade. “Oh god, the noodles. That just isn’t right.”

“Oh no, however will I make billions now?”

Angela tossed the cone into the trash. “Don’t be silly. With as much as we love each other, we’re sure to strike it rich some day.”

“You’re probably right.”


	4. Pool Cleaning

“How long until we’re done?”

“Angela, we just started.”

“There’s just so much _sand_! Can’t we just hire a professional?”

“Whose idea was it to get a behemoth sized pool and then let our neighbor completely fill it with sand?”

“…I don’t want to claim responsibility. But, I suppose, I could have had something to do with both of those.”

The Amaris were currently knee deep in sand trying to shovel it all out of their pool. Fareeha had contacted a professional to remove it, but they wanted to charge boatloads of money for it. The convenience of not having to do it herself almost tempted her to pay the exorbitant fee. She ultimately decided against it when she found out that the professional estimated the job would take a few weeks to finish.

_I want to swim with my wife in our too big pool as soon as possible._

Hana was dragged from next door to help with the cleaning effort. Her job was to bring the sand to the far-right corner of the back yard via the wheelbarrow they were shoveling it into. The Amaris were going to be the proud owners of a huge pile of sand.

Fareeha stopped shoveling after half an hour. “I was thinking we could take a break after we were halfway through shoveling, but we’ve barely made any progress. We need more help.” She fished her phone out of her pocket and speed dialed a trusted number.

_“Yeah?”_

“Do you always answer the phone like that?”

_“Well, I saw it was you. What’s up?”_

“I need a favor.”

_“…what kind of favor?”_

“The I would really appreciate it if you helped shovel sand out of my pool kind.”

_“…you don’t pay me enough for that.”_

“I made a fresh batch of Lemon Lime Good Time gelato.”

 _“You only make that in May!”_ A pause. _“Tell you what, promise me a hundred bucks and the gelato.”_

“I can only promise the hundred bucks and _some_ gelato. That’s Angela’s favorite flavor you know.”

_“Cool, be there in ten.”_

True to her word, Lena showed up in ten minutes ready to help. “Oh god, it’s worse than I thought.”

The pool was still mostly filled with sand. Hana stood by the wheelbarrow, casually playing on her handheld. Fareeha was busy digging her wife out of the sand.

“Just let me drown in the sand, Fareeha. It’ll put me out of my misery.”

Fareeha continued to dig her out. “Don’t be silly. I’d miss you if you drowned.” She dug until she noticed Lena standing by the edge with her mouth hanging open. “Could you help me out here?”

“Uh, sure thing boss.” Lena hopped into the sand and grabbed onto one of Angela’s arms. She pulled alongside Fareeha when she had the arm securely placed behind her neck. The two of them brought her to the safety of the indoors.

“Okay, babe, rest a bit and try not to die. You can come back to help when you’re feeling better.”

Angela mumbled out a half-hearted reply.

Fareeha turned to Lena. “Ready to shovel for hours on end?”

“…can’t wait.”

For the next hour, the duo shoveled sand at a brisk pace. Hana had to put her handheld away because the wheelbarrow would fill quicker than she could finish a level. Their hard work resulted in a good quarter of the sand disappearing from the pool. Just as they sat down for a break, Angela burst from the back door looking like she could take on the world.

“Alright everyone, the doctor is in.” She wiped a yellow substance from her lips with the back of her hand.

Fareeha narrowed her eyes at the suspect behavior. _Normally, Angela would still be a defeated mess. Unless she…_ “Did you eat the gelato?”

“Yup, most of it along with two shots of tequila. I am rejuvenated.” She hopped into the pool with a spare shovel she found in the garage. “Let’s do this.”

With Angela back on the shovel force again, the pool cleaning effort took off. Hana became a huffing mess from all the wheelbarrowing she had to do. One second it was empty, the next it was filled to the brim with sand and she had to sprint it to the designated pile. On her last trip back, she collapsed face down on the pool deck.

“Are we done yet? I don’t think I can barrow any more wheel.”

Fareeha, Angela, and Lena lay sprawled out on the pool floor, covered in sand. It took them four hours and fifteen breaks to clear out most of the pool. Any remaining sand could easily be filtered through the pool’s sand filter.

Lena clutched her sides in laughter. “Barrow any more WHEEL! You never told me your neighbor was so funny, boss!”

Fareeha replied, “She has her moments.” _Especially when she’s not ruining my pool._ She attempted to stand up, but her wife held firmly onto one of her arms.

“Stay with me here a little longer.”

“The sooner we get out, the sooner we can wash off all this sand.”

“I know, but it feels nice laying at the bottom of the pool together, holding on to you like this.”

Fareeha blushed hotly at the admission. “Okay, yeah, whatever you want.”


	5. Bored

It didn’t happen often, but boredom occasionally visited the Amari household. Angela and Fareeha had another day off together and decided to be lumps on a log. An assortment of snacks sat on the coffee table in front of the couch the couple had chosen to occupy. Neither of them wanted to cook anything, so the snacks were to tide them over until one of them called in for take-out. Real food was for the weak.

Angela had her nose buried in one of her many medical journals. Fareeha lay with her legs stretched out over Angela’s lap. She occasionally wiggled them when she was still for too long.  

“Angela, something’s wrong.”

The blond gave a noncommittal hum in response. She flipped to the next page of her journal.

“I think I’m bored.”

“Well out of the two of us, you’re not doing anything mentally stimulating. Of course you’re bored.” Angela reached for the bowl of pop rocks and handed them to Fareeha. “Have some of these, they’re pretty fun.”

Fareeha didn’t need convincing. She shoved a fistful of the fizzy candy into her mouth straight away. _Maybe that was a bit much._ Sure enough, the inside of her mouth exploded with sensation. Too much sensation. _I have made a mistake._ She wiggled her feet to try and get Angela’s attention. That also turned out to be a mistake.

Angela set down her journal and grabbed onto Fareeha’s squirming feet. She looked her wife straight in the eye as she slowly reached for a feather that had been stuffed into a couch cushion.

Fareeha’s eyes widened. _She wouldn’t._

But she did. Angela took the feather, considered lethal in some countries, and dragged it along the soles of Fareeha’s feet.

 _No! Why would she do this to me, her amazing wife?_ Fareeha tried to wrench her feet free, but Angela had a firm grip on them. Panicked laughter spilled from her lips. “Angela! Please! Why are you doing this to me?”

Angela briefly stopped her tickle attack. She regarded her wife with a smile full of mirth. “It’s because…”

She didn’t get to finish her response.

Fareeha took the opportunity to free her feet from the feathery torture while her wife’s guard was down. She scurried towards the furthest cushion away from her. “I’ll give you a ten second head start.”

Angela vaulted over the couch’s armrest into a sprint. She ran upstairs towards her office. _Shit! Where can I hide?_ The swivel chair by her desk looked promising enough. If Fareeha found her, she could push it away as a distraction.

Soon enough, her ten second head start was over. Fareeha’s footsteps could be heard climbing up the stairs. “Oh, Angela! I have a present for you!”

Angela tried to keep herself quiet. She didn’t want to be tickled herself, but the situation was exciting. Giggles slipped passed her lips. _Her face was priceless._

The office door creaked open. Fareeha maneuvered herself inside like she was on some covert mission. It didn’t take long to spot her wife grinning behind the swivel chair. “Did you even try to hide?”

“Well, since you’ve found me so easily, it should be a breeze to catch me.”

Fareeha took the bait. She reached out for Angela when she was close enough. Her face collided with the back of the swivel chair. _What?_

Angela dashed passed her stunned wife, laughing all the while. “Sorry, dear! Better luck next time.” She climbed back down the stairs and headed toward the back door. _She wouldn’t think to look for me outside. I hate it out there._ Angela made herself comfortable on one of the lounge chairs.

Her idea worked, at least for about twenty minutes.

Fareeha eventually found her wife lounging by the poolside. Pockets of sweat littered across Angela’s clothes. The woman looked to be melting. When she spotted Fareeha walking up to her “hiding” spot, she smiled. “Ah, you found me. I was starting to think I’d melt into the ground. It’s hot out here you know.”

“Well, I didn’t exactly expect to find you out here _willingly_. Ready for retaliation?”

Angela rolled out of the chair. She quickly stripped down to her underwear as she made a beeline for the pool. “You’ll have to retaliate in the pool.” A wave of water splashed onto the pool deck from her canon ball.

“I’ll take that challenge!” Fareeha also shucked off her clothes. She dove into the pool after her wife and resurfaced into Angela’s outstretched arms. “Why did you tickle my feet earlier?”

Angela dunked her wife underwater. Fareeha came back up spluttering from the unexpected mouthful of the chlorine cocktail. “Because, silly, I was bored too. You make the cutest faces when you’re tickled, which are decidedly _not_ boring.”


	6. Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's another batch of drabbles. This one was based off of a real life scenario and is dedicated to TheSoundOfThunderstorms.

Some mistakes don’t appear as such until it’s too late. When her wife offered her a cup of coffee a few hours ago, Fareeha accepted. She normally didn’t drink coffee, but Angela had been formidable in convincing her.

_“Fareeha, I made a pot of coffee. Would you like some?”_

_“No thanks.”_

_“You know, this is probably the best coffee I’ve ever made. Ever. It’d be a real shame if you missed out.”_

_“Guess I’ll just have to wonder about it for the rest of my days.”_

_Angela poured two cups anyway. She handed one to Fareeha. “It’d make me happy if you tried it.”_

That’s how Fareeha ended up in her current predicament. She could feel the fatigue from the day throughout her body. By all rights, she was tired. But that damn caffeine kept her from being able to close her eyes for more than a few seconds. Angela, on the other hand, was facing no such dilemma. She clonked out as soon as her head touched her pillow. That was over an hour ago.

Fareeha shifted onto her side. The motion jostled Angela, causing her to let out a few mumbles in reply.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Fareeha whispered her question just in case her wife hadn’t actually woken up.

“Who touched them?” Angela asked, panic in her voice.

“What are you talking about? Who touched what?”

Angela sat up, asking louder this time, “Who touched them?” She pat along the side of their bed visibly distressed.

Fareeha sat up as well. Her wife’s actions were concerning. “What’s wrong, Angela? What are you looking for?”

“Who touched my fucking turtles!”

_She’s sleep talking. That’s… that’s hilarious._

“Who touched my _FUCKING_ turtles!”

“Babe, there aren’t any turtles around.”

That set Angela off. She ripped the blankets from her body angrily shouting, “They’re real! They’re real! They’re all real!” As soon as her feet touched the ground, she made a beeline for the kitchen. _I need a damn bowl._

Angela searched for a bowl in a frenzy. In her half-asleep state, it was hard remembering exactly where they were. She searched through the fridge, the drawers, the oven, and even the empty sink. Nothing.

_Gotta find a bowl. Gotta find…_

The sound of Fareeha’s laughter drifted into the kitchen. Angela heard it plain as day.

_I ran into the kitchen to fetch a bowl for imaginary turtles and Fareeha’s laughing her ass off about it. Perfect. Not embarrassing at all._

Angela returned to the bedroom. She slid back under the covers and snuggled up to her wife. “It wasn’t nice of you to laugh, you know. Half asleep me was on an important mission.”

“Oh, was she now? What exactly was the mission?”

“…”

“I promise not to laugh.”

“If you laugh, I’m gonna hit you with my pillow.”

“My lips are sealed.”

Angela took a deep breath. “There were these turtles that I could see hanging out close to the edge of the bed. They were really cute and small minding their business tucked away in their shells. You know, enjoying life. All of a sudden, you moved and everything changed. They all popped out of their shells and started scrambling over to the edge. I needed to save them… with a bowl.”

Fareeha looked at her wife, eyes shining full of mirth. “Mm-hm. That’s quite a story. Full of turtles and heroism.”

Angela buried her head against her wife. “Go ahead and laugh.”

And she did. Fareeha laughed so hard she had to hold onto her sides. “That was worth not being able to go to sleep.”


	7. Farm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is hands done my all time favorite and is dedicated to aizia.

Fareeha returned to her home looking distraught. For whatever reason, she paid a visit to her neighbor earlier that day. During that visit, Hana called her a scrub for not playing video games.

_I’ll show her scrub._

Fareeha marched herself upstairs to the office. She booted up the computer and patiently waited until she could search for games to play. _What kind of games would I even play? Free? Free is good._

The first result that popped up under the search “free games” was Farm. That’s it. It was just called Farm.

_Ooh. Maybe I can grow potatoes._

As it turns out, she could. After she chose a username, LesbianFarmerFareeha69, and named her farm, Angela Rocks My Socks, she was free to choose what to grow on her property. Potatoes were on the list.

_Hell yeah. Virtual me is gonna be the best potato farmer around._

And she was. LesbianFarmerFareeha69 toiled night and day tending to her potatoes. She only harvested them at the peak of freshness. Soon enough, she had a whole barn filled to the brim with potatoes. It was rewarding, fun too. But it was a lonely venture.

_Aren’t there any other farmers around?_

Fareeha searched the land around her humble farm, but only found empty plots. They all had little signs spiked into the ground that read “invite”. Perhaps her neighbors had to be invited. Fareeha checked the time.

_Perfect, Angela should be on her lunch break. Let me send her an invite._

The invite read: Howdy partner. This lonely potato farmer could sure use a farming gal pal. Would you be my neighbor?

Minutes later, a small farm popped up right next to Fareeha’s. It was named Fareeha Rocks My Socks and it was owned by none other than LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69.

 _Holy shit. My wife is the best._ Fareeha opened up a chat window.

 **LesbianFarmerFareeha69** : You made it! What crops are you going to grow?

 **LesbianFarmerFareeha69** : …

 **LesbianFarmerFareeha69** : how did you get such a long username? I thought there was a 30 character limit.

 **LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69** : thx for the inv babe <3

 **LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69** : i’m gonna be a strawberry farmer!

 **LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69** : and the answer is obvious,

 **LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69** : love > character limit

 **LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69** : simple really

LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69’s farm quickly grew to the same prominence as LesbianFarmerFareeha69’s. Her strawberries were healthy and abundant. However, something was different about her farm.

 **LesbianFarmerFareeha69** : babe? What’s with all the people hanging around your farm?

 **LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69** : those are my workers <3 <3

 **LesbianFarmerFareeha69:** …workers?

 **LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69** : yeah, if you sell some of your produce, you can hire people to help you pick them, you can even raise animals! i’m raising cats <3 <3 do you think you can raise cows? i’d be neat if i could sell strawberry yogurt

Fareeha was stunned. _My poor farmer has been working hard all this time when she could have had some help?_

A quick look at LesbianFarmerFareeha69 revealed that the poor virtual farmer looked miserable. She walked with a slump and no longer carried around her exuberant smile. Her eyes, cold and lifeless, looked around her farm with contempt. LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69, on the other hand, looked to be having the time of her life. She wore a friendly smile and happily conversed with her fellow workers. On occasion, she’d take a break to have a milkshake.

A message popped up across Fareeha’s computer.

It read: Oh no! A bunch of your potatoes are about to go bad!

_OH NO!_

**LesbianFarmerFareeha69:** babe! My potatoes are going bad! What do I do?????

 **LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69** : hmm, you could sell them at the market for cheap, better than throwing them away

Fareeha quickly took her advice. LesbianFarmerFareeha69 came back from the market a hundred bucks richer, a small smile on her face.

_Maybe I could at least hire one worker. Poor virtual me could really use a break._

One worker soon multiplied into upwards of twenty. LesbianFarmerFareeha69 never looked happier. She even had the dough to pay for cows to raise.

 **LesbianFarmerFareeha69:** here babe, I got that milk you asked for. Wanna trade?

 **LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69** : <3 <3 have some strawberries! and a cat! his name is pickles

The trade went through followed by the message: LesbianFarmerFareeha69 and LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69’s relationship has improved! Keep it up and there could be wedding bells in their future!

_Wedding bells? Virtual me and virtual Angela could get married?_

**LesbianFarmerFareeha69:** let’s get married!

 **LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69** : i love you, but we’re already married

 **LesbianFarmerFareeha69:** no, no, in the game! Let’s get married in the game! If we trade with each other enough, it’ll give us the option to get hitched

 **LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69** : !!!!!!! <3

 **LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69** : i have to go right now, but i’ll get one of my interns on this stat!

For the next few hours, LesbianFarmerFareeha69 traded items with LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69. Fareeha would tell the intern what crops to grow and which animals to raise via the chat. Sometimes it was actually Angela on the other end. When the marriage option came up, Fareeha waited until Angela came home to seal the deal.

The sound of the front door closing spurred Fareeha out of the office and down the stairs. As soon she spotted her wife, Fareeha had Angela in a bridal carry. “Quickly! I’ve had the game on the marriage screen forever!” She marched both of them back up the stairs and placed Angela in front of the computer. “I’ve already sent the marriage proposal. You just have to accept.”

Angela logged into her account on the computer and quickly brought up the proposal. She almost broke the mouse with how hard she clicked accept.

The screen exploded with hearts and wedding bells. The white picket fence that separated LesbianFarmerFareeeha69’s farm from LesbianFarmerAngelaLovesLesbianFarmerFareeha69’s disappeared and all the workers from both farms helped squish the farmhouses together to make one giant farmhouse. Virtual Fareeha and Virtual Angela embraced in front of their new home before walking inside together.

Fareeha wiped away the tear that rolled down her cheek. “That was beautiful.”

Angela agreed with her lips against Fareeha’s. “What do you say we go celebrate the honeymoon?”


	8. Movie

It was customary for the Amaris to reserve one night out of the week to watch a movie together. They usually took turns picking out which film to watch, but Angela had been making the selections for the past month. She had a list of movies she wanted to get through and had somehow convinced Fareeha to forfeit her turns.

_“Babe, do you think I could pick out the movies for the foreseeable future?”_

_“No?”_

_“I promise they’ll be great.”_

And they were. Fareeha ended up enjoying all of Angela’s picks and grew to look forward to whatever else she had up her sleeve. However, on this particular movie night, she experienced the true meaning of regret.

“So, what movie are we watching today?” Fareeha lay with her head nestled atop Angela’s lap on the living room couch, waiting for her wife to set up the movie.

“Um, it’s uh called…” Angela nervously flicked between selections on the rental screen. If she timed it just right she could maybe get away with clicking on the title without Fareeha noticing. The movie she picked out for the night had the worst rating of any movie ever released, but she was dying to see it. “I think it’s a comedy.”

The opportunity came when Fareeha reached for the blanket hanging off the back of the couch. Angela quickly hit play and prayed that the title of the movie wouldn’t come up for at least a few minutes. Luck wasn’t on her side.

Fareeha had already snuggled back into position against Angela with her newly acquired blanket when the words “Bittchin’ Spiders” stretched across the screen. Tacky guitar riffs and explosions followed.

Angela felt her wife’s body stiffen.

“Babe…” Fareeha started.

Angela stared straight ahead at the tv screen. Five minutes of cheesy CGI spiders and terrible acting played out before she acknowledged her wife. “I know this is the worst movie since the creation of movies. But I need to watch this. Please watch it with me.”

So, she did. For the next two hours, Fareeha stayed cuddled up to Angela watching the worst movie in existence. Her eyes, stretched wide open the whole time, couldn’t look away from the train wreck on screen.

Angela on the other hand seemed to have enjoyed the shit out of “Bittchin’ Spiders”. The movie was by no means a comedy, but there she was, laughing her ass off. Every time a spider came on screen Fareeha had to hold onto Angela for dear life, lest she fall off the couch from her wife’s intense laughing fits.

When the movie finally ended, Fareeha slowly brought herself to a sitting position. She wrapped the blanket securely around her shoulders. “I love you. A lot. I really do.” She paused for a moment to stare blankly at her own feet. “But I think it’s time I get to pick the movies again.”

Angela slowly nodded her head in agreement. “That’s understandable.” She looked at her wife who still wore a blank stare. “Come on now. Let’s get you to bed. I think your eyes could use the rest.”

Fareeha stayed seated on the couch.

Angela got up from her spot and stretched out her arms towards her wife. “Want me to carry you?”

Fareeha didn’t hesitate to hop into Angela’s arms.


	9. Picnic

Five sandwiches in, Angela was starting to feel full. She was on a date with her wife in their backyard. They had both agreed to go on a picnic for their next date. However, neither of them wanted to drive anywhere. So, the two lovebirds ended up nestled next to the gigantic pile of sand in their backyard.

It wasn’t a windy day, so they didn’t have to worry about sand getting in their food. The real problem was that neither of them communicated what the other was planning to bring. Angela thought that Fareeha would have made some type of dessert, so she made a bunch of different sandwiches. Fareeha thought that Angela would have just brought wine or some crackers, so she made a bunch of different sandwiches.

Collectively, the two of them brought way too many sandwiches. Neither of the

m would admit it.

“How do you like the sandwiches Angela? They are pretty good, right?”

 _Oh god, I don’t think I can eat any more._ “Yes, they are definitely good. I just can’t have enough of them.” Angela, regretfully, reached for another one. “Are you also enjoying the sandwiches as much as I am?”

Fareeha looked down at her own half-eaten sandwich. Yes, it tasted wonderful. But at a certain point, taste becomes the least important factor of a meal. _I don’t want to eat any more. I feel like, like I’ll explode if I take another bite._ “Yes, the sandwiches are very enjoyable. They are one of my favorite foods to enjoy in large quantities.” She finished the rest of the sandwich in her hands and reluctantly reached for another one.

An awkward silence filled the space between them as both Angela and Fareeha looked down at the untouched sandwiches clasped in their respective hands. If either of them could make eye contact, they would be able to see the regret swimming through their eyes. Thankfully, their neighbor Hana came to the rescue after she caught a peek of the duo through the fence.

Hana easily jumped the fence and approached the couple. “Hey, what are you guys up to? Having a picnic?”

Angela and Fareeha snapped their heads in her direction, both of them thinking the same thing. _Our savior has arrived._ “Oh, yes, we’re having a picnic right now. Why don’t you join us?” Fareeha said as she gestured to a space between her and Angela.

“Sweet, don’t mind if I do.” Hana sat herself between the duo, eager to have some free food. “I’m starving, what’s on the menu?”

“Well, there’s a whole assortment really. Kind of like sandwich roulette. You never know which one you’ll end up with.” Angela said, shoving the basket full of sandwiches into Hana’s lap. “Here, have as many as you’d like. Maybe bring some home for your parents.”

“Thanks, but my parents are scrubs. I could eat a million of these, you know. Next to gaming, eating is my favorite thing to do. Sandwiches are actually my favorite food.”

The couple finally locked eyes with each other as Hana busied herself with devouring the sandwiches in her lap. Fareeha broke out in a knowing grin. Angela in turn, had to stifle an onslaught of giggles from spilling out.

“Oh wow, there really is a variety in here! Peanut butter and jelly, salmon, even chicken cordon bleu! Fancy!” Hana continued to tear into the sandwiches, blissfully unaware of the face that she saved Fareeha and Angela from a leftover nightmare.

“You know, Hana,” Angela started. She turned towards her neighbor and discreetly gestured for Fareeha to slide the other basket full of sandwiches next to Hana. “I don’t think we tell you enough just how much we appreciate you as a neighbor.”

Hana stopped eating and bashfully looked away. “Even after the whole filling your pool with sand thing?”

“Yes, even after that. You did help us clean it up, after all.”

Hana turned her attention to Fareeha. “…even after I called you a scrub?”

“Yes, well, about that.” Fareeha nervously ran her fingers through her hair. “Angela and I ended up getting married in a cute farm game. So, I’m not mad at the scrub thing and, yes, we still appreciate you.”

Hana’s eyes welled up with tears. “You guys are the best.” She carefully set aside her sandwiches and brought her neighbors into a tight hug. When the hug had ended she went to grab the basket again and noticed another identical basket sitting right next to it. She flipped open the lid to inspect the contents. “Ooh, more sandwiches! Can I have these too?”

“Of course.” Fareeha answered. She looked over to her wife who looked relieved to be done with the sandwiches.

A notification came from Hana’s phone, which prompted her to quickly consolidate all the sandwiches in one basket and start running towards the fence. “Thanks for the sandwiches, but I have a stream thing right now. See ya later!” In a flash, the girl vaulted the fence and returned to her home.

Angela flopped backwards onto the grass, careful to avoid the sand pile. “I think our next date shouldn’t involve food.”

Fareeha joined her wife. “Or maybe we could actually communicate what the other is doing so we don’t end up with fifty sandwiches again.”

“Once again, you just have to be the voice of reason.” Angela cuddled up to her wife. “Let’s take a nap.”

“Right here?”

“Yes.”

“The voice of reason thinks that’s not the best idea since we’re lying next to a giant sand pile which could get all over us. There’s also the issue of bugs. What if you swallow a spider?”

Angela scrunched her nose. “I wouldn’t like that.”

“Why don’t we go take a nap in our bedroom?”

“Another great idea. Carry me?”

“Of course.”


	10. Stuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I put this in the domestic au but it's also part of a separate collection, Bob Drool Drabbles. Sorry for the double post.

It wasn’t every morning that Fareeha got to sleep in. Angela usually woke up early every morning for her shift at the hospital. In turn, Fareeha also got up early so that the two of them could spend the morning together. This particular morning, neither woman had anywhere to be.

Fareeha woke up to the feeling of eyes staring intently at her face. Groggily, she voiced a question. “Why are you staring at me Angela?”

Angela blushed a little at having been caught in her staring, but the amusement of the situation quickly made up for any embarrassment. “Oh, it’s nothing serious. Don’t worry about it.”

Fareeha was skeptical. Angela usually said _don’t worry about it_ whenever there was, indeed, something to worry about. Namely, embarrassing situations. “Then why are you staring at me so intently?” Fareeha attempted to look up at her wife, but was met with resistance. It didn’t happen often, but the feeling of her cheek unable to freely move was a familiar one. _Oh no. Please don’t tell me…_

Angela tried to keep her laughter at bay with her hand against her lips. _She looked so comfortable too._

“How long… how long did you let me sleep like this?”

“Hmm, judging from how stuck you are, probably all night. If you’re asking how long I’ve been staring at you, then it’s probably been around twenty minutes. Had you not woken up, I definitely would have stared for longer.”

Fareeha braced herself for a few seconds before she ripped her cheek away from Angela. Apparently, during the night, she had grown comfortable enough to drool over the cozy pillow of her wife’s breasts. As a consequence of this drooling, her face ended up stuck to Angela’s right breast. It wasn’t the first time.

“This is so embarrassing.” Fareeha sat up along the headboard of their shared bed and stared straight ahead. She refused to make eye contact.

“It isn’t so bad. It’s actually kind of adorable.” Angela maneuvered her body flush against her embarrassed wife, embracing her in a one-sided hug. “Take it from me, the person that had her breasts drooled on.”

Fareeha wasn’t convinced. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“True.”

“What! You were supposed to say something like _no, no of course not_ or _I wouldn’t lie to you_.”

Angela pretended to be in thought for a minute. She wouldn’t admit it to anybody, but it was fun to get Fareeha a little flustered. However fun it was though, she couldn’t keep the act up forever.

“Well, you see, it _was_ supposed to make you feel better,” Angela started. She untangled herself from Fareeha’s side to slide into her lap. “but it wasn’t a lie. It _was_ adorable to watch you sleep, blissfully unaware of your predicament. And besides there are worse things to do in your sleep.”

Fareeha drew patterns along Angela’s thighs, still avoiding her gaze. “Like what?”

“Hmm, well, I talk in my sleep. Remember that?” Angela clasped their hands together.

“I don’t think that’s as bad as waking up stuck to your wife’s breast because of dried drool.”

Angela laughed. “Okay, you got me. It’s not as bad, but the bottom line here is that I still love you. Drool and all.”

“Lucky me.”

“Yes, lucky you. Can I have a kiss now for all of my trouble?”

Fareeha briefly considered giving in before she decided on a little teasing of her own. Angela, who had leaned in closer for her kiss, found herself unexpectedly dropped on the other side of the bed. “What?”

“No kisses for Angelas with morning breath!” Fareeha said as she dashed towards the bathroom.

“Fareeha!”


	11. Two Hands, Too Suave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone's got the hots for Fareeha at work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol so I lied about posting five at a time. Here's just the one.
> 
> This one is dedicated to my friends Margerie and Jrade and is based off a real event that happened to them.

It was another Monday at Gelata Fun, restocking day. Fareeha stood waiting behind her shop for a delivery. She looked at the time on her phone for what seemed like the fiftieth time that morning.

_She’s really late today. Is she just not coming?_

Another five minutes passed before Fareeha saw the delivery truck come careening around the corner. It came to a screeching halt not two feet away from her. The driver quickly scrambled out of her seat, quietly muttering to herself the whole time. She popped open the back doors to the truck to start unloading the goods.

“Sorry I’m late, chica. I got a little sidetracked with my girlfriend this morning. You understand, right?”

Fareeha thought back to all the times Angela tried to get her to ditch work. She nodded her agreement. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Don’t worry about it though. You’ve never been late before, Sombra.”

Sombra almost dropped the box she was holding.  _Why does she always have to be so great? Just hold it together. You can get through this._

Holding it together turned out to be a lot harder than she thought it would be. Fareeha had chosen to wear a form-fitting tank top that day. Her muscles would flex every time she carried a box into her shop. She even had the nerve to smile brighter than the fucking sun.

Sombra leaned against the side of her truck, watching Fareeha put away the last of the boxes.  _I don’t think I can get through this alive. Come on, what would Saty say?_

Vibrations from her back pocket brought her out of her thoughts.  _Oh, well I guess I’ll find out._ She fished out her phone to read the text.

**SatyBear: Have a great day <3**

_And that doesn’t help at all. I guess I’ll just have to rely on my best attribute, extreme confidence._

Fareeha had just finished organizing the boxes to put away for later and went to thank Sombra for the delivery. Except, she wasn’t at her truck. She was leaning against the doorframe, casually looking over her nails.

 _Huh, weird. Normally she’s already in her truck buckled-up and ready to go._ “Thanks for the delivery, Sombra. I’ll see you next week.”

Sombra smirked. “Next week, huh? I’m sure we can manage something sooner than that.” She waved her fingers over the general direction of the phone secured in Fareeha’s back pocket. It vibrated.

Fareeha stood stock-still, staring at the confident woman clad in a khaki button down, khaki shorts, black knee socks, sneakers, and a baseball cap with the delivery company’s logo on it.  _Did she just hack my phone with her hand?_  She quickly pulled up her messages to make sure she wasn’t losing her mind.

**Sombra <3: Hey there ;) I see you around here often. You? Me? Date this Friday?**

_She did! Color me impressed._ “Oh, wow, a date, huh? That would be nice, but, uh, I’m actually happily married.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. I’ve got two hands, see?” Sombra held her hands out in front of her. “This right hand? Reserved for Satya. But the left one? This one gets cold, lonely even.”

Fareeha felt heat rising to her cheeks. She was at a loss for what to do.  _I’m just gonna… Just gonna… GONNA…_

“You alright over there? Your face is getting pretty red,” Sombra said, sounding not at all concerned. “Here, tell you what, I’ll just head out for my other deliveries and you can think over my offer.” She turned to leave for her truck, but stopped for one last quip. “Oh, and you have something on your arms.”

 _Something on my arms? What?_ Fareeha carefully examined both of her arms only to find that there wasn’t anything on them. She ran outside to catch up with Sombra before she sped away in her truck. “I checked but there’s nothing on my arms. What did you mean?”

“That one went right over your head. You’re too funny.” Sombra started up her truck and set it to drive. “I meant your beautiful muscles.” She sped off down the street after blowing a kiss towards Fareeha.

_Oh shit. Oh fuck! What do I do?_

“Boss! Are you gonna stand out there all day or are you going to help put everything away?”

_I guess I’ll just have to figure it out later._

-

Angela had been quietly enjoying a novel on the couch when she felt her wife sink into the cushion next to her. “How was work, darling?”

The silence that followed was unsettling. She bookmarked her page and turned to give Fareeha her full attention. “Fareeha what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“Um, no, but also, yes?”

“I’m not quite sure what you mean. Something did happen, yes?”

“I may have gotten someone’s number, but not on purpose at all. They  _hacked_ me, Angela. I told them I was married, but that didn’t bother them at all! They sent me a text asking me out and I just don’t know what to do.” Fareeha buried her head in her hands in an attempt to hide the embarrassed flush rising to her cheeks. “They even complimented my muscles. Called them beautiful.”

Angela’s eyes immediately locked onto Fareeha’s arms.  _They are beautiful._  “Don’t worry about it, darling. I’m sure it’ll blow over. At the very least, I’m not mad.”

Fareeha peeked through her fingers. “You’re not?”

“Absolutely not. In fact, it’s actually kind of funny. Do you mind telling me who they are?”

Fareeha covered her face again. “It’s Sombra.”

“Oh, you mean the cute delivery driver?”

“Yes! I mean, no! …you set me up with that one.”

Angela couldn’t help but let out a laugh at her wife’s predicament. “Just a little.” She pulled Fareeha’s hands away from her still blushing face. “Why don’t I message her back for you since it’s causing you this much distress.”

Fareeha’s quickly deposited her phone into her wife’s waiting hands. “Thanks, babe. I don’t know if I would have survived this alone.”

Angela opened up Fareeha’s messages to the most recent one.

**Sombra <3: Hey there ;) I see you around here often. You? Me? Date this Friday?**

_Oh, wow, so forward._

**You: Hello Sombra. This is Fareeha’s wife, Angela.**

**Sombra <3: Hello beautiful ;) is your phone nearby?**

**You: Yes?**

A vibration came from Angela’s phone that was sitting on the coffee table.  _Holy shit. She hacked me too._  She picked it up and sure enough, it was Sombra.

**Sombra <3 <3: You interested in going on a date with me too? I think my hands might get a bit full but my girlfriend Satya has a spare :)**

Angela nearly dropped her phone in surprise.  _I can see Fareeha’s dilemma here. I don’t know how to handle this._

Fareeha looked on sympathetically from her spot on the couch. “She got you too?” The blush that sprung up along Angela’s cheeks was all the answer she needed.

“Yes, she did. Sombra… is her name even Sombra?”

Fareeha shrugged. “That’s the only name she ever gave me. Why don’t you ask?”

**You: Is your name really Sombra?**

**Sombra <3 <3: That sounds like a question to ask on a first date ;)**

Angela lowered her phone in defeat. “I’m sorry Fareeha, but I don’t think I can help you. She’s just too suave.”

 

 

 


	12. Christmas Aesthetic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when you really like Christmas, but don't celebrate it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, this is a power move? Posting a Christmas fic in March? I haven't written anything since last month, so thank-you to the person who commented last.

It was a week before Christmas. The Amari household was decked out with reindeer and Santas and elves. Christmas trees filled every corner that could fit one and, in every doorway, hung a mistletoe. Outside, snow and even more reindeer, Santas, and elves blanketed the lawn. Christmas lights hung from every available surface. It was a bit much, but that was how the Amaris enjoyed their decorations.

Christmas was one of their favorite holidays, the only catch being that neither Fareeha nor Angela celebrated it. They were into it for the aesthetic and consumerism. Fareeha also really liked Santa.

She woke up that morning excited for the day’s plans. Every year since they first got together, Fareeha and Angela would drive to all the nearby malls and Christmas events in their area and get a picture with every Santa they came across. They’d make one giant collage with the pictures and send copies to their friends as gifts.

“Angela, are you up yet?” Fareeha whispered to the still form of her wife nuzzled comfortably into the mountain of pillows and blankets she accumulated every night.

No response.

She nudged her and spoke louder when she said, “Angela, I love you. Please get up.”

Angela finally cracked open one of her eyelids. Her sight was bleary from sleep, but she could make out the form of her excited wife just fine. “Good morning,” she mumbled out, closing her eye as soon as she said it. She rolled over and pulled her nest of blankets closer to herself, hoping to manage at least five more minutes of sleep.

The blankets were pulled from her body, revealing her naked form to the cold morning air. Angela shrieked from the icy assault against her body. She was definitely awake now. “Okay, okay. I’m getting up.” She sat up against the headboard, yawning as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “Today’s pictures with Santa, right?”

“Yup,” Fareeha said. She tossed her wife a pair of thermal pajamas. The top matched the bottoms exactly. “I got us these pajamas to take pictures in. And I was thinking that maybe we could mix things up this year.” She put on her own pair that looked exactly like Angela’s. They had nonsensical stripes and snowflakes interspersed with Santas.

“Oh, what would you like to do differently this year?”

Fareeha pulled out yet another pair of identical pajamas, this one smaller than either of their pairs. “Let’s invite Hana. Her parents are hardly ever home so I thought it’d be nice if we took her out today.”

“Fareeha, that’s a wonderful idea.” Angela kissed her wife, laughing when she pulled back and saw her nose crinkled.

“Angela, I love kissing you, but, please go brush your teeth.”

Angela swooped in for another quick kiss before heading for the bathroom. “Why don’t you invite Hana over for breakfast as well?”

 _Might as well,_ Fareeha thought. She put on a coat and Santa hat as she made her way downstairs and out the door.

Fareeha walked through the knee-deep snow until she arrived at her neighbor’s front door. She could have used the sidewalk, but she loved messing up the snow.

“Hana!” Fareeha said as she rang the doorbell five times in a row. The door also suffered a series of harsh knocks to make sure that a certain teen would answer.

A loud thump could be heard from inside followed by the sound of slippers dragging across the floor. The door jerked open a crack revealing the sleep-deprived face of Hana Song. She shot Fareeha a glare before slamming the door closed and undoing the chain. She opened it fully, clutching at the blankets she had wrapped around herself when she felt the morning chill.

“You’re lucky I fell asleep on the couch. I literally couldn’t ignore you if I tried. What do you want?” Hana said.

Fareeha shoved the pair of thermal pajamas she brought with her into Hana’s arms. “Here, put this on. When you’re done, come on over. We’re making breakfast next door.”

Hana pulled out her phone to check the time. The display flashed an eight followed by two zeros. Eight AM, the time of day she was never awake unless she stayed up from the previous day. It was uncouth to be awake at such a time. People lacked morals, respect,  _common decency_  to be awake this early. Truly, the world possessed no good reason to –

_BLARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGG_

Ah, yes, hunger. It would be hard to go back to sleep on an empty stomach.

“Fine. I’ll be there in ten minutes.” Hana slammed the door closed and hurried upstairs to change.

Fareeha returned home to the sight of her wife preparing pancakes on the griddle. She watched as Angela sprinkled cut slices of fruit onto the bubbling batter before flipping them over. The pancakes cooked for another minute before they were piled onto three separate plates.

“I didn’t know you could cook,” Fareeha said once the griddle was off.

Angela frowned and smacked Fareeha’s arm with an oven mitt. “Oh, hush. I was a microwave connoisseur before I met you. Pancakes are a real improvement.”

Fareeha put her hands up in surrender before grabbing the syrup and powdered sugar, bringing them to the table.

As soon as they sat down, the front door slammed open. Hana quickly stepped through, closing the door with her foot. Her nose followed the scent of fresh pancakes until she was sitting at the table with Fareeha and Angela.

“Good morning, Hana,” Angela said.

“…ornin’,” Hana managed to croak out, her eyes drooping from lack of sleep. She stared at the pile of pancakes in front of her. Their fluffiness was an admirable trait, along with their golden brown hue. They would make a great pillow to rest her head on.

Fareeha looked on at the imminent collision with wide eyes. “Hana,” Fareeha said, jarring the teen out of her sleep haze. “Would you like something to drink? Tea? Coffee? Maybe a soda?”

Hana drowned her pancakes in syrup as she thought about her options. “Could I have a hot cocoa with a shot of espresso?”

The couple raised their eyebrows at her request. “We have instant hot chocolate mix and some leftover coffee from earlier,” Angela said.

Hana dumped a quarter of the powdered sugar onto her plate. She cut into her pancakes and stuffed them into her mouth, smiling at the perfect combination of flavors. “Hmm. I’ll just have a water then,” she said after a long bout of chewing.

Fareeha grabbed a water bottle from the fridge for Hana, who gratefully accepted it. She needed to wash down her food practically after every bite.

“Are you busy today, Hana?” Fareeha asked once everyone had finished their food.

Hana shook her head. “No, I was just going to go back to bed and then wake up fifteen hours later wondering where the day went.”

Angela looked concerned. Fareeha just smiled. “Great, why don’t you come with us to take pictures with Santa instead?”

Hana got up from her chair and pushed it back under the table. She avoided all eye contact when she said, “Thanks for the invite, but I’m going to pass. I don’t celebrate Christmas.”

Fareeha shrugged. “Neither do we.”

Hana looked at the couple suspiciously before turning her attention to the rest of the house absolutely drenched in Christmas decorations. “Your house looks like the North Pole and you win best decorated house every year.”

Angela and Fareeha both shrugged this time. “What can we say? We love soaking up the attention and it’s nice to win a three-night stay at a fancy resort every year for participating in a holiday we don’t even celebrate.”

Hana relented and took out her phone. “Fine, just let me tell my parents that I’ll be gone… How long are we going to be gone?”

“All day,” Fareeha replies.

Hana sighed as she sent the message to her parents. “When do we leave?”

She found herself buckled in the backseat of the Amari’s car soon after.

The first mall they stopped at was the local megamall. Shoppers packed the building and they had to walk fifteen minutes just to reach the first Santa of the day. Since it was so early, Santa’s Little Village had no line. The trio walked right up to Santa and posed for their first picture. Fareeha and Angela shared matching wide smiles. Hana had her arms crossed and her lips set in a frown.

For the next few Santas, the Amari’s brought props to wear. They took pictures with Santa hats, reindeer antlers, clown noses, and even Santa beards. Hana eventually lightened up, taking a more active role in their Santa hunt. For the last picture, she convinced the Amari’s that it would be fun to stage a presents heist. Of course, they didn’t let the workers know that’s what they were doing.

“Santa hasn’t caught on yet, so we should be good for a few more minutes,” Hana said.

They were hunched by the giant Christmas tree in their last mall shoving all the fake presents into huge red sacks. Grinch fingers adorned their hands.

Hana rounded the tree when all the presents were snatched to make sure there were no stragglers. “Here,” she said, handing her phone to a random shopper that was paid thirty bucks to help them. “Take pictures of us running away from Santa and security. Meet us at the west exit when we get kicked out.”

The Grinch trio hoisted their spoils over their shoulders and yelled to get Santa’s attention.

“Hey, big guy!” Hana shouted.

The mall Santa turned around to acknowledge them.

“We’ve got your presents!” Fareeha shouted next.

“And we’ll be making off with them now!” Angela finished.

The three Grinches laughed together as a surprisingly fit Santa chased after them with security in tow. The photos from their stunt were an instant favorite.

“I had a great time today,” Hana said once they arrived home. “Thanks for the invite.”

She gave the Amari’s a big hug before going back home. The couple watched her go to make sure she made it back safely. Aside from tripping into a sizable snow pile, Hana made it back without incident.

Angela and Fareeha retreated back to their study, eager to start their collage. They dropped their photos from the day into an editing program, pleased with Hana’s progression from grumpy to full bright smiles.

“I have to say, this year’s pictures with Santa are my favorite,” Angela said.

“Yeah, mine too.”


End file.
